Tremble
by Laylah
Summary: Rain,Yazoo,Loz,Too much caffeine.Yazoo's last thoughts and regrets told from his P.O.V.Hint of yaoi, but no smut.Oneshot.


**A/N: There's a deafening spring rain outside, and here I'm listening to Anathema and NIN, quite depressed, wanted to share. Told from Yazoo's P.O.V, there's slight yaoi undertones so beware. I hope you enjoy anyway.  
**

**TREMBLE **

The rain falls gently from a murky sky, purifying the thick, lingering smoke, the smell of ashes and fumes from the still smouldering debris. My ears are still ringing from the deafening blast that reduced the tunnel behind me to rubble.

The storm clouds part above, to reveal a clear, cerulean sky. The rainwater is cool on my face, a serene song in my ear that lulls me to slumber. Somewhere, I know Kadaj is dead.

I stumble wearily, my fingertips and eyelids growing numb with each passing moment. I feel a tightening in my throat, an unnatural weight settles over my body, yet I feel lighter than ever.

Next to me, Loz winces slightly and grunts. I turn my head slowly, trying to keep my eyes open. He squints through the rain that trickles down his distressed face, mingling with his tears. Angrily he tries to wipe it away, in vain. I lay a trembling hand on his shoulder, both to steady myself and soothe him.

Loz looks at me, unsurely, like a lost, lone child. I squeeze his shoulder lightly. He understands. There is no use in fighting it off any longer, no reason to resist. He knows. He is wiser than Kadaj always gave him credit for.

"Brother…" He whimpers.

Already his skin is like frost beneath my fingers through the battered leather.

"We…failed?" He asks then in a small, worried voice that sounds ridiculous coming from a man his size. I glimpse doubt and fear in his glistening eyes.

I shake my head slowly in reply. My mouth is dry, my lips compressed and teeth clenched to keep from sighing in exasperation.

Yet as weak as I am, I hold on with all my will. I know I can not let go yet, not before him. Though he never admitted it, he was always afraid of being abandoned, left alone. I realize I have to stay strong for both of us in this final moment.

"Kadaj?" Loz asks again, in that same hesitant, whispery tone. Grief darkens his expression, as though he was expecting that grim look my taut features must have surely conveyed. I grit my teeth.

Pushing aside my own misery, I smile at him slowly, fondly. Loz relaxes, the downcast shadow fades from his eyes. His fears are unfounded, I wonder if he knows this too. I wonder if he knows how much I care even though I keep that mask of indifference even now.

I think back on the times I wanted to hold him to me whenever he looked at me like that. Trusting, near-innocent, guileless…There is so much I want to tell him, but there is no more time left for such idle matters. My sight bedimmed, my skin begins to tingle, not so painfully, beneath the light drizzle.

"Together…we'll play." He murmurs, his breathing slowing down. His eyes slide partly closed to slits as he touches my cheek, brushing damp, platinum tendrils off my face affectionately. I tremble.

"Together." I promise in a low whisper.

Loz smiles. His lips twitch faintly, he leans his head forward to mine. Then his eyes slide even more closed until the dewed, pale lashes meet. I hear the pulse under his jaw cease beating as he passes away from this mortal existence.

With what little strength left in me, I catch him as he collapses. Above me, the sky weeps. All around me, the hushed echo of solitude mocks me.

And I thought I wasn't going to cry…

I lift his head tenderly to rest upon my knees, and I press my forehead gently to his.

My eyes spill forth their tears I kept inside of me until now.

_Don't cry Yazoo…_I fancy I hear his voice, laughing at me, coalescing with Mother's.

I choke, and I wrap my arms tightly around him, shielding him from the cool, hastening rain that he resented so much.

And as the rainwater washes away the last trace of my festering taint, and my identity, I hold onto my brother tightly, and relinquish my final breath, in silence….

**-FIN-**


End file.
